During my psychology training I learned about the primary needs of human kind and inevitable I bumped into the attachment theory of Bowlby. He was the pioneer when we speak about attachment and the research he conducted was revolutionary. The research that got my attention was the one with orphanage children. He divided a group of children in two. One group got attention, affection and love from the care givers and the other group didn't. The only similar thing they received were the other basic primary needs like food, water, sleep, air, etc… The results were harsh. The group that didn’t receive affection died. It really was a cruel investigation, but also a very important eye-opener for us as humans. It learned us that love is also an important primary need and that we as humans yearn to be loved. That idea made me think about love in our daily life. How we see and experience it. If you turn on the TV it’s about love, the songs on the radio talk about it as well… It is like the world is in desperate search for love. The disturbing part is the picture perfect we tend to see when we talk about it. Our expectations aren’t that low key nowadays. We expect our significant other to be the greatest love of all, our closet friend with whom we can share all our ideas, our work-out buddy, the passionate lover, the cozy one, the romantic who will cover the house with rose petals, the family person you want to come home to, etc… But if you look at it objectively, is this all possible… can somebody be all of the above? And what kinda of pressure do we put upon others and ourselves?
With all this in mind I started to read more about love, the attachment style and realized how it forms us as humans making decisions in our adult life while the cradle of it all lays in how we are taught to love. Yess, you heard me right: “the way we are taught to love”. If love is such a universal language, how come we don’t all experience it in the same way? And why do we yearn for a form of love that isn’t that realistic? With all this thoughts in mind I decided to go on the street and speak with people about love, no matter age, gender, religion or race. Asking random people: “what does love mean to you?”. Such a universal language, but yet so individual. Must say that the conversations I had so far were pretty awesome. I hope I may inspire you with the stories I collected so far. If you would want to be interviewed by me make sure to contact me. I am looking for couples who want to be interviewed as well. Spread the word if you know a couple that might be interested.
As always looking forward to hear your thoughts in the comments.
If you like my stories feel free to share it, but please mention the source. As always lots of love,
Selina
©️ Subtle Balance
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